The best dream USB key

So if you were to list the functions you would like in a USB drive what would it be?
Here is my list:
1) Small and not bulky, not heavy, easy to transport, can fit in your pocket
2) Large capacity, at the moment that would be 128 Go
3) High speed read and write capacity ( > 30MB read and > 20MB wite per second)
4) Biometric user authentication (fingerprint)
5) Hardware based data encryption
6) Backup via Internet of data (incremental backup, versioning) when connected
7) Shock proof, water, temperature and magnetic protection, with a lifetime warranty
8 ) Nice sleek but simple design (maybe titanium for extra protection and light weight) without a cap or with a cap that is attached and can’t be lost, fall off.
9) The ability to run an OS or software from the drive and or use as a memory booster
10) Maybe a short range beacon type system or even a GPS system that can be activated if it is lost, to quickly find it
11) For the paranoid a wipe or even remote wipe system, should the key really be lost and if it has confidential information on it. I guess this would need a small battery power source that triggers ths should it be tampered with or to allow for the GPS function if not connected to a computer.
12) It could serve as an RSA type system that randomly generates a number. This number when combined with a user id completes a login identification process

Edit: I was just checking out the comment from Steve below concerning the 64 Gig USB Key from Kingston and came across an advert for the “IronKey”. It seems that quite a few of the items from the above wish list can be found in the IronKey USB key coined as being the “world’s most secure USB key”. Looks pretty impressive take a look.